Friday, November 19, 2010

Poisoned Pride

Poisoned Pride Devotion

by Proverbs 31 Devotions

*Poisoned Pride*

This is an amazing devotion about getting self out of the way so God can finally use you for His purpose!

I hope you all enjoy it

God Bless

Leigh

Monday, March 29, 2010

Book giveaway!!! Portrait of the Called by Sue Schaffer

"In Portrait of the Called, Sue Schaeffer shares her vision of a life painted with the skill and majesty of the Master Artist. Sue’s “heart on paper” provides a glimpse into God’s heavenly art gallery, where every painting is one of a kind. Some portraits radiate with the vibrant colors of sharing the Gospel in an exotic land, invoking excitement and passion, while others glimmer with the pastel hues of gentle souls providing comfort and companionship to the sick. In every painting, the Master includes darker nuances, shadows that might appear somber or foreboding, but without which there is not contrast to hint at the glory of a looming sunrise.

Every follower of Christ must provide a clean canvas on which the Father can create His masterpiece – a unique and priceless work of art.”
--
Tommy Barnett
Pastor, Phoenix First Assembly
Co-Pastor, Dream Centers: Los Angeles, New York

About the Author

Sue Schaeffer, is an author, teacher, and speaker who believes the world needs a picture of what Christians should be. She is a songwriter with songs published and the author of
several books including Africa is Waiting and best-seller Mine to Choose. Sue says, “My goal for Portrait of the Called is for readers to discover their hidden talents, and to fan old flames of visions that have died.

Dawnita Shockley, author of Retouch, concludes each chapter of Portrait of the Called with “afterthoughts” and “reflections” from a daughter’s point of view. She is an educator and
co-pastor with her husband at Church on the Rock in Las Cruces, NM which they founded in 1990. She has traveled extensively in the United States and Europe spanning 35 years in pastoral and evangelism ministry.

If you would like to receive this wonderful book please respond by emailing me at @ changedheartministries@gmail.com

I have limited quantities so get one before they are gone! This is an amazing book and you will be truely blessed.

The Gift Of Sabbath

The Gift Of Sabbath

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work.

Genesis 2:2

When was the last time you rested? Really rested? In our fast paced multi tasking world, the idea of resting--let alone taking a day of rest each week--seems foreign, almost mythical, in a world that is addicted to hurry.

Rest demands that stop completely. We stop the frantic pace. We stop checking things off our to do lists. We stop measuring our worth by our productivity, and thats not always easy. Performing is often easier then simply being, if you go too long without rest, it can feel foreign--you don't quite know what to do with yourself. Maybe thats one reason God commands that we rest regularly.

Our culture tells us time is money. The Sabbath reminds us that this time is Holy. A day off reminds us that we belong to God--our Creator, our provider, and the Source of our strength. As you embrace the sabbath in your own life, remember to be kind and grace giving to yourself. Expect things to not go according to your plans, and always look for the joy. The sabbath is a gift, are you ready to receive it?

1. Have you ever gone so long without rest that when you did try to rest you didn't know what to do with yourself?

2. Why do you think God established the pattern of Sabbath-or taking one day off a work-from the beginning of time?

3. What advice do you have for someone who can't take off the same day every week or even a full day because of their work schedule?

In the old testament, the idea of Sabbath is introduced after God's people had been in slavery and captivity. The sabbath was designed by God to give the people rest and allow them to stop working and reconnect with Him.

4. Read Exodus 20:8-11. What does it mean to you to keep the sabbath "Holy"?

5. Why do you think the passage instructs that everyone in the household--including the animals--should rest? In what ways can rest be contagious?

Throughout His earthly ministry, Jesus was often criticized for His activities--particularly healing people--on the Sabbath. While Jesus knew it was important to honor the Sabbath. He recognized that there were some things that were more important.

6. Read Mark 2:23-27. What do you think Jesus meant when He said,"The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath"?

7. Do you tend to view the idea of the Sabbath as more of a burden or a gift?

8. In what ways have you set apart a Sabbath or a day of rest in your schedule? How has it affected you, your relationship, or your life?

The truth is the Sabbath is a gift from God. The Sabbath reminds us that time is holy. The Sabbath asks us to put the breaks on a busy schedule and take time to rest our souls, reorder our worlds, and realign ourselves with God.

"Digging Deeper"

The sabbath wasn't just something for the Israelites. The Book of Hebrews reminds us that the teaching and principle behind the Sabbath extends to all people for all time. Read Hebrews 4:9-11. Why is the idea of Sabbath rest so important for your spiritual life? How does taking time to unplug give you the opportunity to plug back into a closer relationship with God?

"Ponder and Pray"

Does anything ever stop you form "finishing the work" you've been doing? Why do you think recognizing finishing lines are important in life?

"Bonus Activity"

Select one day this week to celebrate the Sabbath. Go ahead and decided ahead of time what you will and will not do in order to make the day special. As you approach the day, try not to be legalistic. If you determine not to use your cell phone on the Sabbath, and then you get a flat tire, of course you should use your cell phone! At the end of the day, observe how the scheduled downtime affected your relationship with God.

"Next Lesson for May"

The Power of Margins

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him.

Lamentations 3:25

I hope you enjoyed the bible study and that it richly blessed you

God Bless you,

Leigh Penrod

A Changed Heart Ministries

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Husbands Prayer Warrior

A Husband's Prayer Warrior

Sharon Jaynes

(In honor of Valentine's Day, Sharon's devotions will focus on marriage during the month of February.)

Today's Truth
"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms" (Ephesians 6:12).

Friend To Friend
Of all the roles and responsibilities that God has given wives, the position of a prayer warrior or intercessor is perhaps the greatest of all. An intercessor is a person who intervenes or prays for another person. It was derived from the Greek word,enteuxis, which means to go before a King with a petition or plea on behalf of someone else. In essence, it means the same thing today. We go before the King of Kings with a petition or plea on someone's behalf. What we accomplish on our knees in the invisible realm will ultimately affect the strength of our marriage in the visible realm. There is no other person who is more called or more qualified to pray for your man than you.

In the Bible, God describes the marriage of a man and a woman as a visual example of the spiritual union between Jesus Christ and the church (all Christians). Believers are called "the bride of Christ" (Revelation 19:7). We are walking, talking, earthly examples of the heavenly relationship between God's Son and those who believe on His name. God instructs men, "Love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25).

There is someone who wants to destroy that living example, and his name is Satan. Jesus said, "The thief (Satan) comes to steal, kill, and destroy" (John 10:10). He desires to destroy the God-ordained and designed institution of marriage. He began with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden and continues his destructive tactics even today. Satan is not very creative, but he's very effective, and he uses the same temptations and tactics today that he used in the first marriage on earth. Satan has proclaimed an all out assault on the family and he begins at the top - with the husband and wife.

So many times we fail to see the real enemy in our marital struggles. The writer of Ephesians explains, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms" (Ephesians 6:12). When I am having a conflict with my husband, I need to stop, take a deep breath, and think…who is the real enemy here? There is a spiritual battle raging all around us that we can't even see, but is very real. It is the greater reality. It is a battle that is not to be feared, but one that is to be recognized and fought in the only place where it can be won - in prayer.

Let's Pray:
Dear Lord, I pray for my husband, from head to toe.

His Head -That he will look to You as Lord of his life. (1 Corinthians 11:3)
His Mind - That he will have the mind of Christ and think as the Holy Spirit would lead him and not the flesh. (1 Corinthians 2:16)
His Eyes -That You will keep his eyes from temptation and that he will turn his eyes from sin. (Matthew 6:13, Mark 9:47)
His Ears - That he will hear Your still small voice instructing him. (1 Kings 19:12, Psalm 32:8)
His Mouth - That his words will be pleasing to You. (Psalm 19:14)
His Neck -That he will humble himself before You and be strong, courageous, and careful to do everything written in Your Word so that he will be prosperous and successful. (James 4:10, Joshua 1:8-9)
His Heart-That he will love and trust You with his whole heart. (Deuteronomy 6:5, Proverbs 3:5)
His Arms-That You will be his strength. (Psalm 73:26)
His Hands-That he will enjoy the work of his hands and see it as a gift from You. (Ecclesiastes 3:13, 5:19)
His feet - That You will order his steps and that he will walk in Your truth. (Proverbs 4:25, Psalm 26:3)

Now It's Your Turn

Consider asking your husband for some specific ways that you can pray for him today.

Look up each of the Scripture references above and make the prayer for your husband specific to his particular needs.

Find one friend with whom you can pray for your marriage. Commit to pray for each other's marriage on a regular basis.

I'd love to hear how you pray for your husband. Please visit my Facebook page at www.facebook.com/sharonjaynes and share how you pray for your husband.

More From The Girlfriends
Praying for your husband is one of your most important roles as a wife. If you would like a more comprehensive list of Scriptural prayers to pray for your husband (over 100), you can find them in Becoming the Woman of His Dreams by Sharon Jaynes. Also, Sharon has the prayer above laminated on a prayer card that can be tucked in your Bible for easy reference. Just log ontohttp://www.sharonjaynes.com/ and click on books and audio. (Excerpted from Girlfriends In God)

No More Nagging

No More Nagging

Sharon Jaynes

(In honor of Valentine's Day, Sharon's February devotions are focused on marriage.)

Today's Truth

James 5:16 "The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective."

Friend To Friend

There are some verses in the Bible that I wish God had just left out. Here are a few:

"A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping" (Proverbs 19:13).
"A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand" (Proverbs 27:15, 16).
"Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife" (Proverbs 21:19).
"Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife" (Proverbs 25:24).

OK, that's about all I can take right now. When I wrote the book, Becoming the Woman of His Dreams, I surveyed and interviewed men about what they longed for in a wife. One thing that men repeatedly mentioned was their aversion to nagging. Drip, drip, drip. Webster defines nagging asto scold or find fault with repeatedly, to cause annoyance by scolding or repetition. Interestingly, a nag is also an inferior or aged horse. The best remedy to cure ourselves from being a nagging wife is to become a praying wife. Jesus invites us to stop nagging our husbands and begin nagging God!

Here's what Jesus had to say:

Then he said to them, "Suppose one of you has a friend, and he goes to him at midnight and says, `Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, because a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have nothing to set before him.'

"Then the one inside answers, `Don't bother me. The door is already locked, and my children are with me in bed. I can't get up and give you anything.' I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is his friend, yet because of the man's boldness he will get up and give him as much as he needs.

"So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened" (Luke 11:5-9).

In the Greek, the original language of the New Testament, the words ask, seek, and knock are present participle verbs. That means that the more accurate translation would read, ask and keep on asking, seek and keep on seeking, knock and keep on knocking. God invites us to be persistent in our prayers for our husbands. We can give our worries and cares to God and leave it up to Him to do the rest. "Cast all your cares on the LORD and He will sustain you" (Psalms 55:22). "Cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7). Remember, you don't want to be your husband's mother…you want to be the wife of his dreams.

Let's Pray

Dear Lord, I confess that sometimes I nag my husband … alright, maybe more than sometimes. But Lord, I am determining in my heart to stop nagging my husband and start being consistent and persistent in prayer. My husband is Your workmanship, not mine. Forgive me when I try to yank the paint brush from Your hand and create brushstrokes of my own. I pray that I can be the woman that he needs in order for him to become the man that You desire.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

What do you think a nag sounds like?

Do you ever nag your husband? I know that is a silly question, but answer it any way. Confession is good for the soul J

If there are things that you tend to nag your husband about, try this. Write them down on a piece of paper, turn the list over to God, and then turn off the leaky faucet. Give it a try. You might be surprised!

I'd love to hear how God has used prayer in your marriage. Visit my Facebook page and let's chat. While you're there sign up! www.facebook.com/sharonjaynes

More From The Girlfriends

Nagging just seems to come natural for most of us girls. But God calls us to live super-naturally. For more on how to be the woman of your man's dreams, you'll want your own copy of Sharon's book, Becoming the Woman of His Dreams: Seven Qualities Every Man Longs For. Visit her website to read an excerpt.

(Excerpt from Girlfriends to God)

Monday, February 8, 2010

Bible Study Lesson #3 Know Your Season

Know Your Season
He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, That brings fourth its fruit in its season,Whose leaf also shall not wither:And whatever he does shall prosper.
Psalm 1:3

The truth is that in every season of life God does things within us that can't be done in any other season. Whether springing to a new career or stage in life, growing right where we are, enjoying the harvest of our work, or laying fallow, God is present and at work in our lives. No matter what season your in, there's something to celebrate when it comes to what God is doing in us.

1. When you think about the season-spring, summer, fall or winter-which is your favorite and why?

2. When you think about the seasons in terms of your life-spring, summer, fall, or winter-which is your favorite and why?

3. What season-spring, summer, fall or winter-would you say you're in right now in your life? What do you like about this season? What do you dislike?

The book of Ecclesiastes reveals that there is a time and a season for everything under heaven.

4. Read Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 In the following space fill in each of the ones listed in each verse. Then circle the word you naturally prefer in each pair.

Example: Ecclesiastes 3:2 _born__and__die___

Ecclesiastes 3:2_____and_____

Ecclesiastes 3:3_____and_____

Ecclesiastes 3:4_____and_____

Ecclesiastes 3:5 _____and_____

Ecclesiastes 3:6_____and_____

Ecclesiastes 3:7_____and_____

Ecclesiastes 3:8_____and_____

5. Why do you think you naturally prefer some seasons over others? Are there any seasons in which God cannot work or redeem us?

6. How does recognizing the season you're in allow you to trust and rest in what God is doing in your life?

No mater what season you're in, God desires for you to find rest.

Read Exodus 34:21. Why do you think the verse says, Even during the plowing season and harvest you must rest"?

The truth is that in every season of life-including our spiritual life-God does things within us that can't be done in any other season, No matter what season your in, there's something to celebrate when it comes to God is doing in you.

8. What are the seasons in life when you're tempted to overwork and skip rest? Even in your busiest seasons, why is it important to make time to rest?

Digging Deeper

Since the beginning, God has established seasons for the earth. Read Genesis 8:22. Why do you think God designed nature to constantly be changing from season to season? What does this reveal about God's desire to do something new in you?

Ponder & Pray

The opening scripture for this lesson comes from Psalm 1:3 "He shall be like a tree plated by the rivers of water, that brings fourth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper. At what moments in your life have you felt as if this verse described you? what does it personally mean for you to be planted by the rivers of water? Why is this so important for yielding fruit in its season?

Bonus Activity

Now that you're taken and inventory of the season that your in, go ahead and celebrate it. Look at the calendar: what physical season are you in? How can you make the most of it?
Go to the beach, head out for a hike, make jam or jelly, Plant flowers ,Enjoy an afternoon of cocoa with a friend. Throw a harvest party. Then think about your spiritual season. How can you make the most of it as well?
Spend and afternoon in prayer and worship. Take a Saturday to volunteer at an local organization. Plan a family outreach adventure. Support a new charity. Write an encouraging note to someone who needs it. Whatever season your in , do something to celebrate it!

Thank you for coming and I hope that you were blessed by this lesson!

Lesson 4
March 9th
The Gift of Sabbath
By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing: so on the seventh day he rested from all His work.
Genesis 2:2

Monday, January 18, 2010

Day 10

Proverbs 2:6-7(KJV): "For the LORD giveth wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding.
7 He layeth up sound wisdom for the righteous: he is a buckler to them that walk uprightly."

Thoughts for the Day

In verse 6 we see that God is the one that gives us godly wisdom and it comes from His mouth and His understanding. This is saying to us that if we want to be wise, we must read the Bible, as it records the things that He has spoken. As we read God's Word, we will receive His knowledge and understanding about any issue that we desire to know about. This means when we have a certain problem that we are dealing with in our lives, we should do two things immediately -- 1.) Seek God in prayer about the problem -- 2.) Search the Bible as to what it says about the problem.

After you pray, sometimes the Holy Spirit will speak to your heart as to what you are to do about your problem. He may bring a certain person to your mind and when you call that person they will have the answer to your problem. Or, He may bring a scripture to your memory that you have read in the past and that could be the answer to your problem. However, if you do not hear an answer in your spirit, many times you will find your answer in reading and studying what the Bible says about the issue. You can use a Bible concordance to assist you in finding the topic you have a question about and then you can read all the verses about that subject or topic. You can also use a "Search the Bible" program on the Internet. We have this service in our site to assist you on this page: http://www.bible.com/bibles.html

In verse 7, the Bible says, that He lays up sound wisdom for us. That means it is there for us, but we must go get it and not just leave it lying there. Therefore, we are responsible for gaining wisdom by searching for it. Also in verse 7, it mentions that the Lord is a "buckler" to those that walk uprightly. In the Old Testament, the Hebrew word for "buckler" can mean shield, or in this verse it means a spear. This means that God is our protector. He promises to protect and keep us from harm when we obey Him and walk in His ways. This is only one of the rewards that comes from finding and walking in the wisdom of God.

Prayer for the Day

Dear Father, I am grateful that you have left us the Bible with all of its wisdom and knowledge so that we do not get lost in this life or overwhelmed by the problems that we face.� I do thank you that for every problem we face, You will help me find the answer and overcome in the situation.� Help me not only be able to overcome my problems, but also Lord, help me to maintain the proper heart attitude as I work on the situations in my life that need changing.� I know that I must react to my problems with Your love and in a way that is pleasing to you.� Give me the grace to do that, as in my own strength I am not able to approach many of my problems with a godly attitude. In Jesus name, Amen.

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Day 9

Proverbs 2:1-5(KJV): "My son, if thou wilt receive my words, and hide my commandments with thee;
2 So that thou incline thine ear unto wisdom, and apply thine heart to understanding;
3 Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for understanding;
4 If thou seekest her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid treasures;
5 Then shalt thou understand the fear of the LORD, and find the knowledge of God."

Thoughts for the Day

These verses tell us that if we desire to understand what the "fear of the Lord" means and find out about the things that God knows, then we must do certain things for this to happen. First of all, the most important thing, is to receive God's Words and act on them. We must make daily Bible study an important part of our lives. As we study God's Word, and ask God to give us the understanding of it, we will find that the words on the pages of the Bible will become alive to us. Many times, I have been reading along and suddenly it is like the words simply leap off the page and into my heart. At other times, I have read the same scripture over and over, and I really didn't understand it, so I would just read past it, wondering in my heart what it meant. I would pray and ask the Lord to show me what it meant. Asking God for understanding is what lifting up our voice for understanding means. At a later time, reading that same scripture, suddenly I would understand. Many times the Holy spirit would bring to my mind another scripture that would shed light on the one I was meditating about. Then, I find that just knowing the Word of God is not enough, I must obey the commandments that are written in it.

In these verses, He says if we seek for His knowledge like searching for silver or hidden treasures, we will find it. Searching for treasure requires one to:

Inquire where the treasure might be found
Find a map to help in the search
Get the tools to dig for it
Find the right people to help in the search
And finally: Actually dig for it

I think we can see the spiritual application here. Also, we must realize when we approach the Bible to read it, this Book cannot be read as a common novel. It is a Holy Book and it cannot be simply read with the natural eyes, and studied with intellect alone. We must bring our hearts to God when we read and study, if we are to gain His knowledge. This book was inspired by the Holy Spirit and to gain its knowledge and wisdom we must have the Holy Spirit to interpret and enlighten it to us. We must have spiritual ears to hear what the Spirit is saying to us. If we seek for this Book's treasures, we shall find gems of truth and un-mined gold within its pages.

Prayer for the Day

Dear Lord, I come to you in the name of Jesus and thank you for giving me the Bible, your wonderful book, that is not only full of Your knowledge and wisdom, but is Your love letter to mankind.� All through this book is the plan of redemption. You show us how we, as mortals, can find a loving God who gave Jesus, His Son to die for us and redeem us from our sin and destruction. I am thankful that my name is written in the Book of Life. � Lord, help me today to be a caring and loving person that reaches out to share the Bible's message with others. Give me understanding as I read the Bible, but most of all, give me the grace to obey the things that you have revealed to me in your Word. Amen.

Day 8

Proverbs 1:24-33(KJV):
24 Because I have called, and ye refused; I have stretched out my hand, and no man regarded;
25 But ye have set at nought all my counsel, and would none of my reproof:
26 I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh;
27 When your fear cometh as desolation, and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress and anguish cometh upon you.
28 Then shall they call upon me, but I will not answer; they shall seek me early, but they shall not find me:
29 For that they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the LORD:
30 They would none of my counsel: they despised all my reproof.
31 Therefore shall they eat of the fruit of their own way, and be filled with their own devices.
32 For the turning away of the simple shall slay them, and the prosperity of fools shall destroy them.
33 But whoso hearkeneth unto me shall dwell safely, and shall be quiet from fear of evil.
Thoughts for the Day

These scriptures give us a very sober and serious warning about rejecting the Lord and refusing to hear His Words. This warning is for all God haters and those who refuse to yield to God. We have a very loving and compassionate God. However, there is a point that we can continue to reject God and His Word and He will finally leave us alone. This is a frightening thought. In the New Testament we are also warned of this:

Hebrews 3:7-12(Amplified):
^{7 Therefore, as the Holy spirit says, Today, if you will hear His voice, 8 Do not harden your hearts, as (happened) in the rebellion (of Israel) and their provocation and embitterment (of Me) in the day of testing in the wilderness, 9 Where your fathers tried (My patience) and tested (My forbearance) and found I stood their test, and they saw My works for forty years. 10 And so I was provoked (displeased and sorely grieved) with that generation, and said, They always err and are led astray in their hearts, and they have not perceived or recognized My ways and become progressively better and more experimentally and intimately acquainted with them. 11 Accordingly I swore in My wrath and indignation, They shall not enter into My rest. 12 (Therefore beware,) brethren; take care lest there be in any one of you a wicked, unbelieving heart --which refuses to cleave to, trust in and rely on Him -- leading you to turn away and desert or stand aloof from the living God.}

^{The Lord makes it very clear how one can come to the place where God will not answer:}

^{Failure to answer when God calls}
^{Failure to listen to God's counsel}
^{Despising correction and reproof from God}
^{Hating God's knowledge}
^{Showing disrespect and no fear of God}
^{Turning away from God (backsliding)}
^{Making prosperity their goal}

By doing these things we actually are sowing seeds of rebellion which will produce the fruit of destruction. In our lives, there comes a time when we will simply reap what we have sown. The Lord will allow us to have what we want, but with our own way, comes bitter fruit that is our lot also. However, on the positive side, when we do listen and obey God we are promised to dwell safely and not walk in the fear of evil. God wants to bless us, but the choice is ours. We shall reap what we sow.

Prayer for the Day

Father, may I have the strength to resist temptation and always walk in Your ways. Lord, Your ways are not grievous, but given to me to help and bless me. � May I realize this, when you correct me and not rebel against Your restraints. Give me grace to overcome those things that are not pleasing in your sight and yield to your Holy Spirit.� I know there is no temptation that I face that You have not made a way for me to escape it and overcome it.� You are all powerful and I acknowledge my need for Your help in my time of trial. Thank you, for Your promise of protection and freedom from fear. I am glad you are a caring Father that loves me.� I ask these things in the name of Jesus, Amen.

Day 7

Proverbs 1:20-23(KJV): "Wisdom crieth without; she uttereth her voice in the streets: 21 She crieth in the chief place of concourse, in the openings of the gates: in the city she uttereth her words, saying, 2 How long, ye simple ones, will ye love simplicity? and the scorners delight in their scorning, and fools hate knowledge? 23 Turn you at my reproof: behold, I will pour out my spirit unto you, I will make known my words unto you."

Proverbs 1:20-23(Amplified): "Wisdom cries aloud in the street; she raises her voice in the markets. 21 She cries at the head of the noisy intersections -- in the chief gathering places -- at the entrance of the city places she speaks: 22 "How long, O simple ones and open to evil, will you love being simple? And the scoffers delight in scoffing, and (self-confident) fools hate knowledge? 23 If you will turn (repent) and give heed to my reproof, behold, I (Wisdom), will pour out my spirit upon you, I will make my words known to you."

Thoughts for the Day

The author of all wisdom is the Lord God Himself. One of His names is WISDOM. When the above scripture mentions WISDOM crying out, this is in reference to the Lord giving His wisdom to men that are in places of administration in the cities. In the Old Testament of the Bible, when the gates of the city are mentioned it was always a reference to where the elders of the city gathered to make the decisions for the people within the city. Most cities had walls of protection built around them and the gates were closed at night, so that enemies could not attack and destroy them. During the day the elders would also gather at the gates, usually in a watch tower, to observe who and what came in and out of the city. By doing this they could make wise decisions to help the city remain safe and also prosperous in the market places.

When the above scripture gives a warning to the simple, the Hebrew word for simple in these verses has this meaning: foolish, easily enticed and seduced, credulous, inexperienced. With this in mind, the Lord is telling us not to be foolish, but to seek His wisdom and then, we can have His knowledge as to how to deal with our affairs. If we learn to take responsibility and deal with our own affairs in a righteous way, then the Lord will promote us to places of leadership and eldership. He wants to use us to be in positions of authority, so that we might help others in the ways of the Lord. God is using Christian businessmen today to bring His godly principles to the market place. If any nation will line up their economic principles with the Word of God they will become prosperous and blessed. The opposite is also true, if nations fail to do this they will suffer poverty and economic failure. These same principles of wisdom are also true in the area of personal finances.

Prayer for the Day

Father, please give me wisdom in my personal affairs so that I might walk in your blessings and prosperity, that I, in turn, might be able to bless others. Lord, give us wise men in the places of authority to lead us as a nation. May your wisdom be applied in the market places of our land and also to our economic situation at the highest levels. Father, give us wise men to rule over us -- men who will be just and fair in their dealings, men of character. Thank you for teaching us your ways and giving us the gift of the Holy Spirit. In the precious name of Jesus I pray, Amen.

Day 6

Proverbs 1:10-19( KJV):
10 My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not.
11 If they say, Come with us, let us lay wait for blood, let us lurk privily for the innocent without cause:
12 Let us swallow them up alive as the grave; and whole, as those that go down into the pit:
13 We shall find all precious substance, we shall fill our houses with spoil:
14 Cast in thy lot among us; let us all have one purse:
15 My son, walk not thou in the way with them; refrain thy foot from their path:
16 For their feet run to evil, and make haste to shed blood.
17 Surely in vain the net is spread in the sight of any bird.
18 And they lay wait for their own blood; they lurk privily for their own lives.
19 So are the ways of every one that is greedy of gain; which taketh away the life of the owners thereof.

Thoughts for the Day

In looking at these verses, we can see that as parents, it is our responsibility to warn our children of the dangers of hanging out with the wrong crowd. Also, there are warnings to young people to stay away from habitual sinners. There is a saying stating that, "Birds of a feather flock together." If we do not want to be like the kind of people that are evil, we must not be buddies with them, nor allow our children to buddy with them. There is another saying, "If you play with fire you will get burned." Young people and older people as well, cannot entertain the notion that you can be close to wickedness and not find yourself being drug into the same wicked deeds that they do. If we do not resist evil, it will soon overtake us. Smaller sins eventually lead to bigger ones. The Bible says that greed, and the desire for money can lead one into robbery and as the above verses declare, even to murder. Gangs are rampant today because the above words of wisdom were not heeded by many of our young people.

I praise God for the young people who are good kids and are leading good Christian lives. It is not easy to live for Christ in an ungodly society. One trick that the devil uses to ensnare good Christians is to entice them to become friends with ungodly people. Satan usually whispers that by being their friend, you can win them to Christ. I am not saying we should snub evil people, nor should we be unkind to them. However, we cannot become close buddies to those that practice unrighteousness, as this has been the downfall of many Christians.

2 Corinthians 6:14-17 (KJV):
14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?
16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you."

The evil influence in others, most of the time, will overcome the well meaning one. The best way to help those that are evil is to pray for them and live an example of goodness before them. Yes, witnessing to them, being kind and loving toward them, but not yielding to their enticements to join them in their wicked ways. God has promised to care of His children and as we trust Him, we will not have to go the way of sinners to attain the things we desire. The Lord promises us those things if we follow and obey Him.

Psalm 37:1-4 (KJV):
1 Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity.
2 For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb.
3 Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.
4 Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart."

Prayer for the Day

Dear Father in Heaven, I come to You in the name of Jesus and I pray for parents and young people today in all walks of life who are struggling with the threat of unrighteous relationships. Help them to live a life that is pleasing to You. Deliver them from the fear of men and give them the grace to cut all ties with those that would lead them into wickedness. Fill them with Your Spirit so that they will have the holy boldness to take a stand for truth and righteousness. May we all treat the wicked that we encounter with compassion and kindness, yet be able to speak the truth in love, so as to help them, and not join them. Give parents Your wisdom to help their teens through the temptations all around them, especially in the inner cities where crime is rampant. Bless the workers and evangelists You have sent to these cities. Provide for them and protect them as they work among the streets. Protect us all from evil and destruction. Help us to overcome evil with good, as You told us to do, and let us be that light that shines in the darkness. Amen.

Day 5

Proverbs 1:8-9(KJV): "My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:
9 For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck."

Thoughts for the Day

One of the requirements for receiving wisdom is the admonition for sons and daughters to listen to and respect the godly advice and teachings from our parents. In fact, this is one of the ten commandments listed in Exodus 20:12: "Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee." Notice this commandment comes with a promise -- if we honor our parents, we will have long life. We might wonder why this is true. If younger children fail to obey their parents, they can get into dangerous situations that could cost them their lives. For example: When parents instruct their children to look both ways for oncoming traffic before crossing a street; and the children do not obey these instructions, they could be run over and killed, thereby cutting their life short.

Parents are older, therefore they have more experience and are able to instruct their children wisely so they can avoid the mistakes that they may have made. Even grown children can learn from their parents how to raise their children, how to manage their financial affairs, find help in their occupations, etc. Christian parents even have a greater wisdom to pass on to their families. If they know the Word of God, they are in a position to pass their godly advice to their children.The children then become the recipient of a chain of blessing from their fathers and mothers. This blessing is described in today's verses as a victor's wreath on one's head which means we shall walk in an overcoming position in this life. The golden necklace is symbolic of prosperity and favor. If we are obedient children we will have these blessings. If we are godly parents we are able to pass these blessings on to our children, who in turn can pass them on to theirs.

Prayer for the Day

Dear Lord, thank you for all the godly parents who are attempting to raise their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.� Give them Your Wisdom as they guide their children and lead them in Your ways.� Cause their children to submit to their leadership and to obey them, thus saving these children from many heartaches and suffering in this life. Lord, heal the parent/children relationship breaches and put it in the children's hearts to submit unto their parents.� Cause the parents to be patient and loving toward their children.� Give us all love one for another in our homes and in our church families as well. In the name of your son, Jesus, I pray, Amen

Day 4

Proverbs 1:7(KJV): "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction."

Thoughts for the Day

According to this scripture one must have "the fear of the Lord" to attain knowledge. Since this is true, we need to know what it means to "fear the Lord," as most of us desire to attain knowledge. In this verse, the "fear of the Lord" actually means "to be alarmed due to what could happen, if we disrespect or show lack of reverence to the Lord's Words." A good example of this would be if a young person respects the words of his father, he will heed those words and not disobey, as he knows the consequence of doing wrong will bring the father's disfavor and punishment. This same thing applies to our heavenly Father. If we really respect and believe the Words of God we will not disobey them, as we know there will be a penalty for doing so. We resist sinning as we fear the consequences. The acknowledgement of this one truth truly is the gateway to attain the knowledge of God.

People that have no "fear of God" go about breaking the laws of God, as if nothing will ever happen to them. The Bible refers to these people as foolish. Fools are those who are rebellious and despise the wisdom and instruction of God. Because our God is a merciful, sometimes people do not immediately pay for the consequences of their sins, but in time, all of us will reap what we sow, as that is what the Word of God says in Galatians 6:7: "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." The only way the reaping and sowing process can be stopped is through repentance of our sins. When we accept Jesus as our savior, because He paid the penalty for our sin on the cross, we do not have to pay for it. We escape hell and all of its consequences. How wonderful this is. It can be compared to having someone who comes and plows up a field of sin where the weed seed we planted would sprout in time. Instead, through Christ's love for us, we are now given a clean plowed field, so that we can plant a good crop. One that we can enjoy and even have an abundant harvest to bless others.

Prayer for the Day

My Father in Heaven, I am thankful for saving me from the consequences of my sins.� I do ask you to forgive me for all of my trespasses and sins that I have committed in the weakness of my flesh.� Help me today to resist the temptation to yield to any sin. I know I cannot do this in my own strength, but I call on you to give me the power to overcome the desires of my flesh.� Lord, I acknowledge my respect, fear and awe of You. Deliver me from all foolishness.� I trust that You are "all wise" and ask that you teach me your ways so that I might walk in a path of blessing and be a blessing to all I meet today.� I ask this in Jesus' name, Amen.

Day 3

Proverbs 1:5-6 (KJV): "A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels: 6 To understand a proverb, and the interpretation; the words of the wise, and their dark sayings."

Thoughts for the Day

The book of Proverbs is referred to as the book of wisdom in the Bible. God caused Solomon to pen these great truths. He had learned wisdom, as we must all learn it -- by listening to and heeding the Words of God. We must ask God for ears to hear what the Lord is speaking. Some people complain that they cannot understand the Bible. Actually none of us can understand the sum total of the Bible, because it comes from a God who is unfathomable. However, when we come to God, and acknowledge Jesus as our savior, we are given new insight. We begin our journey of learning about our new Father and His ways. As we study His Book, the Holy Spirit gives us the understanding that brings us into wise counsel and we can increase our learning of the Almighty God.

After forty-eight years of studying the Bible, I am still in awe when I read a verse that I have read many times and never understood it and suddenly I am enlightened and can "understand a proverb" or that "dark saying." I realize this comes because of my relationship with the One who inspired the Bible in the first place. He has given me something of His heart or mind and my love for Him is deepened. We should always be grateful when God allows us revelation of His Word and, when we do not understand it at the moment, that is when we are called to trust Him. Perhaps, at a later time, as we mature and grow in Him, we can receive that understanding that we have asked Him for. In the meantime, we can certainly walk in the light of the Words we do understand.

Prayer for the Day

Dear Father, in Jesus' name I thank you for every bit of understanding I have received from your Word, the Holy Bible. I realize that it is by your Holy Spirit that I am given the grace to understand this magnificent Book.� Thank you for the message of love that comes through its pages and penetrates my heart;� a message that brings comfort and love and also a message of correction when I need it. Lord, may I always yield to those "course corrections" and line up with your Word.� I know that when I do I become wiser for it and I am blessed. Amen.

Day 2

Proverbs 1:1-2 (KJV):
1 The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel;
2 To know wisdom and instruction; to perceive the words of understanding.

Thoughts for the Day

The book of Proverbs was written by King Solomon whom the Bible calls the wisest of all men. Since God imparted this wisdom to him, we can benefit from all the wisdom and knowledge that he penned in this book. God gifted Solomon with the ability not only to write, but to compose music as well. Today God is also gifting many with this same ability so that we all may be blessed through writings and songs that come from His heart.

1 Kings 10:23-24:
23 So king Solomon exceeded all the kings of the earth for riches and for wisdom.
24 And all the earth sought to Solomon, to hear his wisdom, which God had put in his heart.

1 Kings 4:31-32:
31 For he was wiser than all men; than Ethan the Ezrahite, and Heman, and Chalcol, and Darda, the sons of Mahol: and his fame was in all nations round about.
32 And he spake three thousand proverbs: and his songs were a thousand and five."

Solomon was endowed with both spiritual and practical wisdom. Wisdom is the ability to have the insight into the true nature of things. It is being able to discern the right mode of action that produces sensible results and also to have the understanding and knowledge to know what causes negative results. When we have God's wisdom we will know what to do and how to do it. This will cause us to not only avoid those things that produce destructive results, but it will also help us to engage in those things that produce life and blessings.

We notice in Proverbs 1:2 that wisdom is linked with instructions, so if we are to be wise we must follow the instructions of God written the Bible. If we ask God to give us His wisdom, we will receive not only His wisdom, but He will also give us the ability to understand His Words in the Bible. We must know the author of the Holy Bible to be able to understand its Words. The Book will mean nothing to us without a relationship with Jesus Christ, God's Son. King Solomon gained the wisdom that he had because he had this relationship with God. We too, can become wise if we seek God with our whole heart and read the Book He gave to us.
Prayer for the Day

Father, I come to you in Jesus name at the very beginning of this new day and ask You to give me Your� wisdom so that I may order my personal life, my family, my ministry, my business and all of my affairs according to Your Word.� Please impart to me the understanding of your Word so that I know how to do those things that not only please You, but that will also produce blessing in my life and in the lives of all who know me. Thank you, Lord for all the beautiful music and inspirational books that You have blessed me to be able to hear and read. Bless all those who have been obedient to share Your Life through these avenues over the years. It has made my life fuller and caused me to know You better. I ask in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Day 1

Proverbs 1:3-4(KJV): "To receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment, and equity; 4 To give subtlety to the simple, to the young man knowledge and discretion."

Thoughts for the Day

Solomon, the author of Proverbs, sought to receive instruction from God in these verses. According to the Bible he became the wisest man of his day. Here we see he received wisdom, justice, judgment and equity. Looking at three of these -- justice, judgment, and equity; we see these are actions that we desire that others would extend to us. We all want to be treated fairly and equitably. However, a mark of maturity in Christ is, when we are also willing to lay down our justified rights and make sure that we are also extending the same rights to others. We must apply the same Word of God to ourselves, as well as those around us. That is what it means to live by the Golden Rule -- "Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you."

God promises to give this wisdom and instruction to those that will humble themselves in a simple way and to those that become childlike in their approach to God. We must not take a prideful, nor a haughty attitude if we desire to receive knowledge and discretion from God. He gives His instruction only to the teachable and those that depend on God and not their own human reasoning. This does not mean we are to not use our minds. However, it does mean that we are not to just rely on our own logic and reasoning, but to bring God into our daily affairs so that we have access to the mind of Christ with His guidance and His wisdom.

Prayer for the Day

Father, I come to you with an humble heart today, realizing that I need you in my life to help me and guide me in all of my ways.� I cannot accept all the responsibilities that seem to be mine and accomplish them on my own.� Please show me my priorities and help me to lay down those things that are not really mine to do. � Help me to trust you that you will take care of the things� that I cannot change and to work on those things that are my part to change.�I desire to walk in equity with others. Help me to treat others today as I desire to be treated; realizing that I shall reap what I sow. If I am fair and kind and sow those seeds, so shall I reap fairness and kindness in return.� Let me be more Christ-like today through the power of your Holy Spirit.� In Jesus' name, Amen.

Do you have your ticket?

What must I do to be saved?
Romans 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
Every one of us is a sinner. Every one of us have come short of God's glory.
Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
John 3:36 He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.

Because of our sin, we deserve death, eternal punishment, the wrath of God. But God, because He loves us, has provided a means to have eternal life with Him. That means is the Lord Jesus Christ.
John 1:12 But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: 13 Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.
You must receive him. Nobody is born into salvation. Nobody deserves it.

Romans 10:9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. 10 For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. 11 For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. 12 For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. 13 For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
You must call on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, believeing on him, in his sacrifice for YOUR sins.

John 1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 The same was in the beginning with God.
John 1:14 And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.
1 Tim 3:16 And without controversy great is the mystery of godliness: God was manifest in the flesh, justified in the Spirit, seen of angels, preached unto the Gentiles, believed on in the world, received up into glory.

Jesus Christ was God Himself. He was God, the Son. The Word. He came and died for your sins.
Ephesians 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: 9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.
There is nothing you can do to earn salvation. You must be saved by the grace of God, in receiving him (the Lord).
1 John 5:11 And this is the record, that God hath given to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. 12 He that hath the Son hath life; and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life. 13 These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.
Once you receive the Lord, believe on him, that he was sacrificed for your sins, and rose again never to die, you KNOW you are saved.

No prayer saves you. Your BELIEF is what counts. You may pray to God now, but your prayer is simply an affirmation of your belief. Prayer is an important part of your Christian life, but it has nothing to do with salvation. If you are trusting in a prayer or other "act" then you are not trusting in Christ.
"What must I do to be saved?" Simply believing in the Lord's completed work; relying completely on him for your salvation.

Slowing down the busy family

Not So Fast: Slowing Down the Busy Family

Mark Earley

Prison Fellowship Ministries

October 7, 2009

School’s back in session. And between hauling children to and from classes, dance lessons, music lessons, sports practice, and church activities, many parents (not to mention their children) are already feeling frazzled. And this is just the beginning of the academic year!

Busyness is a problem all of us face. In fact, a 2007 study asked over 20,000 teens and adults if “the busyness of life gets in the way of developing [their] relationship with God.” The response? Six in 10 Christians said they are too busy for God.

Are you? That’s the question which Ann Kroeker poses in her new book, Not So Fast: Slow-Down Solutions for Frenzied Families.

Of all the groups most affected by the busyness epidemic—perhaps the American family has been the worst hit. A self-assumed pressure to make sure the children get every opportunity to give them an edge academically, socially, physically, and even spiritually, pushes us to push them. But somewhere in the process—something is getting buried. And it might just be our souls.

In her new book, Kroeker quotes Pastor John Ortberg as saying, “For many of us the great danger is not that we will renounce our faith. It is that we will become so busy and distracted and rushed that we will settle for a mediocre version of it.” It is hurry which, he goes on to say, is the great enemy of the spiritual life.

One of the things I appreciate most about Kroeker’s book, Not So Fast, is that she examines the motivations that can get families to this point. These are motivations for safety like: “The best way to keep kids out of trouble is to keep them busy.” They are motivations based in competition, like: “An abundance of activities and volunteer work looks good on college applications.” And they are motivations based on keeping up an appearance, like: “We feel important and indispensible when we’re busy.”

The trouble is when we dig down deeper with motivations like these and others, Kroeker points out, we find that many of them are based on fear, envy, pride, insecurity, and a love of the approval of man. And as we squeeze every last drop out of out of our days, our children are getting squeezed in the process.

For the Kroeker family, it took a serious illness for their family to begin to see what a mind- and soul-numbing pace they had been living. That wake up call was what it took for them to slow down.

I like the fact that the book, Not So Fast, doesn’t suggest mere cookie-cutter approaches for what families should do to regain balance in their lives. Instead it invites us to examine what’s at the root of these choices, and to repent of the motivations when they are based in sin. And then it offers a variety of suggestions for helping families make much more meaningful connections both with each other and God.

As Kroeker says, “For everyone who yearns for the benefits of a slower life, I want to point to Jesus and say, ‘Start here. Start with the One who offers true and lasting peace.’”

She’s right. Not So Fast is a book Christian families need, if only we’ll slow down long enough to read it and heed it.

Note: This BreakPoint commentary delivered by PFM President Mark Earley. Chuck Colson’s daily BreakPoint commentary airs each weekday on more than one thousand outlets with an estimated listening audience of one million people. BreakPoint provides a Christian perspective on today’s news and trends via radio, interactive media, and print.

Helping kids when they are hurting

Help Your Kids When They’re Hurting

Whitney Hopler

Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer

Editor’s Note: The following is a report on the practical applications of Glynnis Whitwer’s new book, When Your Child is Hurting: Helping Your Kids Survive the Ups and Downs of Life (Harvest House, 2009).

Your kids discover every day how much life can hurt. Maybe they’re excluded from a party or betrayed by a friend. Perhaps they got bad grades in school despite hard work, or didn’t make the sports team or band group for which they’d tried out.

No matter how much you want to try to protect your kids from life’s blows, it’s impossible to do so in our fallen world. But if you choose to trust God to help your kids, and if you teach your kids to trust God, too, then your kids can overcome any disappointment or crisis they encounter.

Here’s how you can help your kids when they’re hurting:

See problems as opportunities. Rather than looking at your kids’ problems as something to try to avoid, recognize that problems are actually great opportunities for them to learn how much they need God’s love and power in their lives. Teach your kids to face their problems instead of trying to run from them.

Deal with disappointment. When your kids encounter disappointment, give them unconditional love so they know that their worth as people isn’t connected to their performance. Try to identify the reason for their disappointment and help them evaluate the situation to learn from it. Choose to think positive thoughts and speak positive words about the people who have disappointed your kids. Plan ways for your kids to improve their skills (tutoring, extra sports or music practices, concentrating on a character issue, etc.) so they’ll be better prepared to try again. Urge them not to give up.

Evaluate words that hurt. Help your kids process words that are harsh, judgmental, or critical through a series of questions. Consider who spoke the words and whether or not that person has your son or daughter’s best interests at heart. Ask what the person’s character is like and whether or not the person was under stress when he or she spoke the unkind words. Consider why the person might say those words. Finally, ask how the words line up with biblical truth and how Jesus would likely respond to them. When you respond, guard your thoughts and words to avoid sin and stay positive. Rely on God’s help to forgive the people who have hurt or wronged you. Use their comments to shed new light on your life and improve it however you can.

Overcome fear. Let your kids know that it’s always okay for them to express their fear in any situation. Encourage them to be open and honest about it. Have an action plan figured out for situations that make them feel afraid. Urge your kids to move past their fear and do something they’re afraid of anyway. Then, once they do take the risk, don’t rescue them in the middle of the challenge. Give them plenty of affirming words (like “I’m proud of you!”). Pray with them and teach them that God is much bigger than anything that scares them.

Manage stress. Create routines to eliminate unnecessary stress at home, such as going to bed on time at night and establishing a regular homework schedule for weekdays. Avoid signing your kids up for too many activities at once; give them enough downtime to relax and reflect. Break down large projects into manageable steps so your kids don’t become overwhelmed by them.

Deal with loneliness. Help your kids become good friends to others and find good friends for themselves. Teach them how to be helpful, kind, sharing, cooperative, responsive to others’ needs, and engage in strong conversations. Invite other kids to your home or to outings.

Turn failure into victory. Train your kids to accept failure as an invitation to try again. Encourage their sense of curiosity because it will motivate them to persist in their pursuits. Remind them of how much God loves them and promises to work even the worst situations out to accomplish good purposes. Evaluate your kids’ failures together and figure out how they can grow. Help them set realistic goals and train to accomplish them while trusting God.

Tell them the truth about their bodies. Counter teasing about their physical appearance and urge them to resist pressure to try to conform to the culture’s standard of a perfect body. Remind them their value comes not from their temporary body, but from their eternal soul. Compliment your kids on the way God has made their bodies (such as by commenting, “You have a beautiful smile.”).

Deal with grief. Answer your kids’ questions about the death of someone they love honestly, giving them just as many details as they need to know. Urge them to trust God even when they don’t understand. Keep your kids’ routines as normal as possible and avoid overindulging them while they grieve. Remember the person who has died, such as by discussing memories together or creating a scrapbook with letters and photos.

Manage anger. Create a safe environment where your kids can safely express their anger, and let them know that you value their thoughts and feelings. Ask them questions to help them evaluate the situations that make them angry. Show your kids how to submit their own wills daily to God and trust Him to do what’s best for them.

Invest in their strengths. Identify your kids’ core talents and give them opportunities to develop and use those strengths to the fullest. Urge them to compare themselves only to themselves – not to others – and keep trying to do their best.

Overcome insecurity. Remind your kids that their value isn’t based on how they look or perform, but on God’s love for them. Build family unity (such as through traditions) to give your kids a strong sense of belonging. Urge them not to waste their time or energy trying to please other people, but instead to focus on pleasing God. Ask God to help your kids see the potential that He sees in them.

Deal with bullies. If your one of your kids tells you that he or she is being bullied, take it seriously. Listen to what’s going on, and record the details. Notify those in authority, like school officials or the police. Teach your son or daughter how to stand up to the bully with calm confidence.

Manage differences. If your kids have physical disabilities or learning problems that give them unique challenges compared to most of their peers, help them identify their strengths and learn how to work around their weaknesses. Protect their self-esteem and show them unconditional love.

September 16, 2009

Adapted from When Your Child is Hurting: Helping Your Kids Survive the Ups and Downs of Life, copyright 2009 by Glynnis Whitwer. Published by Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, Or., www.harvesthousepublishers.com.

Glynnis Whitwer is on staff with Proverbs 31 Ministries, a speaker at special events and women’s retreats across the country, and the author of work@home: A Practical Guide for Women Who Want to Work from Home. She and her husband, Tod, both work from their home in Arizona where they raise their five children.

Choosing the right movies

Movies: Choosing Wisely and Raising Kids Who Will Too

Barbara Curtis

Crosswalk.com Contributor

When it comes to movies, my husband Tripp and I are very protective of our children – though it sometimes feels like we’re alone in this endeavor. After decades of hearing, “But all my friends are seeing it. . . ” sometimes I grow weary.But as a mom whose raised two generations of teens (12 kids 9-40), I have a different perspective. And I know that while many parents think PG-13 means a movie is okay, the envelope has been pushed for so many years that PG-13 in many cases might as well mean Pure Garbage-13.

Today our job as parents is more complicated than just guarding kids from graphic sex. We really need to research each movie our kids want to see to determine if the themes and humor are something that we want to become part of their personal baggage.

If we want our children to be pure, we need to focus not only on the body, but on the mind and spirit. Do we really want their perspective on love and relationships corrupted by coarse jokes and sick humor? Or will we stand against the culture and do the job God has called us to do – to raise children whose minds aren’t so corrupted by “entertainment” that there is little room for God, leaving Him just a little compartment, making Him irrelevant to the choices they make.

This came up for me a couple months ago when Maddy wanted to see The Proposal with friends. That’s right – The Proposal with Sandra Bullock. PG-13. Miss All-American Sweetheart. What could be objectionable about that? And, as Maddy reminded me when I said, “Let’s check it out first,” she’s 16 and next year she’ll even be able to see R-rated movies.

First let me make clear that I do not let the MPAA do my thinking for me. Not only would I not want my kids to see most PG-13 movies, but there are some R-rated movies Tripp and I regard as family treasures – like The Mission, Glory , and The Last of the Mohicans – and some we might watch at home together, fast forwarding sketchy parts so that our kids can benefit from worthwhile themes.

So yes, this parenting thing – if you want to do it well – requires a little extra. Because Maddy is right – next year she will be 17. And even when she is 16, I don’t want to forcefully impose my will on hers – which could make her prone to rebel. I want instead for her to understand how and why I have made decisions about movies before – and how and why she might want to begin making them herself now.

What I am suggesting here is something that’s a hard transition for many loving and righteous Christian parents to make: at some point before our children leave home, we must begin to pass the responsibility for decision making in this area – and in many others – on to them. While we must be there to guide them, we must begin to treat them like fledgling adults, responsible for their own decisions and their own relationship with God. We must allow them to make mistakes.

It’s a more nuanced approach than “While you’re under our roof, you will do things our way – when you move out you can do what you want.” When it comes to some issues – drugs, alcohol, destructive relationships – you can create strict boundaries. But issues like what movies to see are an area where we are not doing our teens any favors by making arbitrary decisions. They need to see how our decision-making process works in order to respect it.

And another angle you may not have considered: you are building future parents who need to be equipped to raise their own children. They need to see the behind-the-scenes of your parenting.

When Maddy wanted to see The Proposal, I pointed her to the review at PluggedInOnline – a source I respect – which mentioned the director wanting to channel the charm from classic black and white comedies. But though there are some Cary Grant/Katherine Hepburn moments, the reviewer warns:

In this misguided attempt to update the time-tested screwball comedy formula, Fletcher and her team have taken their contrived but potentially charming premise and tarted it up with layers of “contemporary” comedy rouge. That means bare bodies. A bizarre Mother Earth ritual. A wince-inducing bachelorette party striptease.

The latter scene was so embarrassingly repugnant that it was one of the few times in my PG-13 movie-going experience I’ve found myself hoping someone would leap up and yell, “Fire!” or maybe, “I’ve gone blind!” just for an excuse to clear the theater. I feared my retinas might be permanently scarred.

Since Maddy adores old movies, I’m sure the comparison to Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn movies resonated with her. She might have thought, why see the cheap (and corrupt) imitation, when you can rummage through our old VHS collection or turn on TCM (her favorite channel) and see the real thing?

Or it may have been the thought of being subjected to watching a male stripper do his thing. All I can say is, I thank God for the Internet – and thank God for Unplugged for being so hip and relevant and real. Because Maddy decided this wasn’t something she needed to see.

One way to prepare your child for this kind of decision-making is to fill them with good entertainment. If you have a TV, use it very wisely – watching it with them when you can.

If you are not that familiar with old black and white movies, I promise you will enjoy exploring them with your children. You can find them for free at the TCM channel or your local library. Many are available for little more than a rental fee. And you can join Netflix – which seems to have every movie ever made – for as little as $8. a month.

The thing is that Hollywood keeps grinding out this stuff which is often entertaining, but usually embedded with insulting or obnoxious material. When we let some things go, we become like the fish in the proverbial pot: as the temperature increases gradually, he allows himself to be boiled to death. Likewise, as parents as we let “small” innuendoes go, we become desensitized and soon our kids are being exposed to stuff we might never have dreamed of when we began raising them.

On the other hand, if we fill our children up with the good stuff – timeless movie classics and those which do not challenge our family values – they will grow into teens who will be able to discern for themselves what’s worth seeing and what isn’t.

Sometimes it’s hard to be different than the crowd. But that’s probably when it’s most important.

Some movie review sites:

Plugged In
Movieguide
Screen-It
Crosswalk.com’s Movie ReviewsCommon Sense Media

Barbara Curtis is author of 9 books, including Mommy, Teach Me! and Mommy, Teach Me to Read! She is also mother of 12, including several pursuing careers in music and theater.

How to stop losing it

How Do I Stop Losing it With My Kids?

William P. Smith, M.Div., Ph.D.

New Growth Press

Dinner is late again, and the living room looks like a failed disaster relief effort. You ask your son to put away his part of the mess, but he ignores you. You turn the TV off; he gives you a surly look. You say, “Don’t ignore me, and get that look off your face!” He mimics you under his breath and doesn’t move. Your face flushes, and you say, “I’m not going to stand for disrespect in my own home, and you’d better move fast if you want dinner.”

He gets up slowly and mutters, “Whatever.” Without thinking, you reach out and slap him. He stands speechless with surprise, anger, and embarrassment running across his face. Suddenly he’s respectful and listening to you! You’re surprised, but secretly delighted. It worked! Easy, quick, and effective! Who could ask for anything more?

Your conscience could, and it is. A small nagging voice in the back of your mind isn’t letting you walk to the kitchen feeling guilt-free and good about yourself. Your slap seemed to “work,” but you sense that it wasn’t right. That’s good. Your unsettled feeling means your conscience is still alive.

Why We Lose Control

This story might not fit you exactly—maybe you never slapped your child—but haven’t there been times when your child pushed all your buttons, and you said and did things that later bothered your conscience? Why is your conscience uneasy? Weren’t you just correcting your child’s bad behavior?

You are troubled because you lost control with your child. But why did you lose control? What was going on in your heart that made your child’s actions so infuriating? The reason you lost control was that, whether you’ve thought about it consciously or not, your child was not fulfilling your desires. Let’s take a moment to look more closely at what your desires were at the moment you lost control with your child. To help you, consider these questions:

• When you lose control because your child is disrespectful (or disobedient, or ungrateful, or anything else that annoys you), whose agenda for your child has become most important? Yours? Or God’s?

• When you lose control, are you most concerned with your child obeying God’s will, or your will?

• Whose desires (for peace and quiet, comfort, respect, obedience, etc.) are most important at the moment you are losing control?

• When your child disobeys you in front of others, are you most concerned for God’s reputation or your own?

When your agenda, your will, your desires, and your reputation become more important than God’s, that’s a sign you are trying to be your child’s god. That’s right. Whether you thought about it or not, you want your child to treat you like God.

It’s easy, as a parent, to confuse your agenda with God’s agenda. God does think that respect, obedience, and gratitude are important. And God does call parents to hold their children accountable and to discipline them. But there is a bigger picture. Since God tells your child to respect you, isn’t your child really disrespecting God (since he’s ignoring God’s commands) more than he is you? When you struck your son (or yelled at him, insulted him, pushed him, or knocked him down), were you thinking about your son’s disrespect toward Jesus? If not, then the way you treated him was more about how he ignored your demands, than it was about his violation of God’s commands.

Besides respect, there are plenty of other things we want from our children. Some of us want easy, comfortable lives; and our children take more effort, time, and attention than we want to give. Others of us want grateful children, who appreciate all we do for them. Maybe you want your children to excel and be the best they can be at everything they do. Or perhaps you only want your children to stay safe, and not do foolish things that will ruin their lives. You have your own list of things you want from your child. The list of things we want for and from our children is as individual as we are.

How a Desire for a Good Thing Can Be Bad

Some of the things we desire from our children are good things. But your desire for any of these good things—respect, comfort, gratitude, excellence, safety—can turn into an ungodly demand when you decide you must have it from your child or else!

To understand how your desire for a good thing can be bad, you have to understand the difference between desiring and demanding. You can picture this as the difference between open hands and closed hands. Open hands allow a gift to be placed into them; they’re not greedy or grasping. You might be disappointed if you don’t get a gift you really wanted, but it’s not the end of the world. The desire for your child to respect you is wonderful. It’s the right way for children to live with their parents. You can pray that your child will respect you and let God know how much you would like to have it. But if you don’t receive it, you’ll still bless God and love your child.

Closed hands with fingers curled tightly around a thing announce to everyone, “I must have this or I die!” You believe you have the right to receive respect—especially from your children. “Look at everything I have done for you!” When you don’t get respect you become angry—sometimes you lash out, sometimes you are filled with self-pity—but the bottom line is that you are angry.

Respect as a desire is a good thing. Respect as a demand is an evil thing. When you treat respect as something owed to you, then you expect it. When you expect it, you look to others to provide it. When they do, you like them. But when they don’t, you punish them. You can tell when your desire for your child’s good behavior has turned into an ungodly demand by the way you react when she does something wrong. When our desires are controlling us and we don’t get what we want, we often become angry and lose control.

Children’s Hearts Are Not Won by Force

Parenting, as with every area of life, can tempt us to focus on obtaining some good part of creation instead of worshiping the Creator. The apostle Paul explains it this way: “They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised” (Romans 1:25). When we set our hearts on loving what God has given us more than we love him, we are rejecting God and making ourselves into gods. When we make ourselves the center of the world and look for meaning, purpose, and direction in people instead of in him, we end up with ruined relationships (Romans 1:29–31).

How does this happen with our children? When you lose control with your children, you are communicating to them that their priority is to wrap themselves around you. They must give you what you want or pay the consequences. You are, in reality, demanding their worship. Instead of teaching them to live according to every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God, you are teaching them to live according to every word that proceeds out of your mouth (Matthew 4:4).

Such a warped world only works as long as your threat of anger and punishment is big enough to suppress your children’s resistance. Sure, you can motivate with fear. People do listen and change their behavior when threatened, but only because they want to avoid the consequences, not because they desire to love and honor those in charge.

Consider what happens in a police state. Nearly everyone tows the line; only a few transgress the rules. But people are obedient because they don’t want to be punished, not out of loyalty and love for their country. They are only biding their time until they can get rid of their oppressors.

Families work in similar ways. Children’s hearts are not won by force. When your children are physically, emotionally, and socially mature, their true nature and attitude toward you will come out. You have taught them that their relationship with you is not built on Christ and his ways, but on you and your rules. When they reject your rules, it is likely they will also reject you, and you will be left without a relationship with your child.

Is there any hope? Yes, there is. Jesus came to free you from the demands that turn his good gifts into your selfish rights. He takes clenched fists and opens them. Jesus doesn’t remove your good desires. Rather he reorders you on the inside so that your ungodly, twisted demands become godly, righteous desires. As this happens to you on the inside, the way you relate to your child will start to change also.Excerpted from the booklet, How Do I Stop Losing It With My Kids? Copyright (c) 2008 Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation. Used with permission of New Growth Press

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Not So Fast: Slowing Down the Busy Family

Mark Earley

Prison Fellowship Ministries

Help Your Kids When They’re Hurting

Whitney Hopler

Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer

Movies: Choosing Wisely and Raising Kids Who Will Too

Barbara Curtis

Crosswalk.com Contributor

How Do I Stop Losing it With My Kids?

William P. Smith, M.Div., Ph.D.

New Growth Press

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